She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
