His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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