I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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