I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
even my farts smell like vagina
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
