i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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