A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
