Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
