i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
