some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
