i don't like sucking hair
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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