so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
