So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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