Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
But we have bathrooms and they dont
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
