It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
