I smell stomach acid.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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