Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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