First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
