I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
