Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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