yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
