i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
