Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
