We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
