You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
