I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
