my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
