party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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