I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
