yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
