why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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