Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
sex in a hospital.. check
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize