I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize