Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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