I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
