Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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