Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
