Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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