Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
