the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize