Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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