She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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