im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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