They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
