week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
