i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
