that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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