doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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