Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
