yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
