Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
