I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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