There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
