I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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