Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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