dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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