An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
FUCK WHALES
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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