Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
3pm strippers are depressing
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
