Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
